Main Themes:		Why I tell all this personal 'negative' stuff so openly? (the forming and integration of the Shadow) In the beginning of my study and my return back to this profession (since mid 1997), I tried to hide my 'negative' past with very unsatisfying results. Bit by bit, I learned that speaking about those plentiful 'negative' life circumstances of the past actually helped me a lot when talking to people. Pages in this theme "Archetypes-Typology": 1: Why I tell all this 'negative' stuff so openly (the healing of the Shadow) 2:Why I tell all this 'negative' stuff so openly (#2) 3: Wat is the real nature of 'negativity' and 'problems'? 4: Resistance in Therapy 5: Archetypes integrated (page foreseen but not yet ready) 6: Typology 3-8 (page foreseen but not yet ready) Last updated: June 10, 2004... [Read on text below]
Cycles & Synchronicity
Family-Relationship
Practical-Download
More Themes:
Preface-Me-Discovery
Research-Testimonial
Donation-Promotion
Forum other Articles
Links-Resources
Bibliography-Books
Private-Internet-Coaching
Advanced Themes:
Archetypes-Typology
Time Integration
Miscellaneous

Home | Site Map | Site Info (straight) | Site Search Engine | How to surf this site?

 

My stories and examples became very lively and useful in igniting a fluent communication between me and my pupils/visitors/spectators. The easier it was to handle for me, the more spontaneous people reacted on workshops , the better my therapy practice ran and the more relaxed I became. Why? What is the background of this phenomenon?

The drama in the development of the mind of man starts when a child of 3-4 years of age learns that some behaviour is 'nice' and other expressions of its spontaneous life power are deemed 'bad'. The child becomes conditioned to adapt an attitude to the more 'positive, rewarding behaviour' and learns to suppress the 'unwanted, disliked characteristics'. In doing so, the forming of the personal shadow sets in. In the years afterwards, the wanted behaviour in continuously favoured and the unwanted further suppressed.

This creative but suppressed 'negative' life power and characteristic tendency tends to stay below the conscious level but remains nevertheless powerful. At the age of 24-30, the grownup man or woman usually commands a well-established ego structure (the here-and-now consciousness), probably enjoys good willpower, reflects about life goals, family, children… and is busy with many different issues. The forming of this secret layer in the person's psyche escapes from the attention and a lot of hidden emotional material slowly accumulates, getting in the way 'underneath' this ego activity.

A man often reacts by simply setting aside these unwanted, emotionally coloured contents (men easily suppress emotions and feelings), helped by an agile, selective ego. But if the suppressed material contains hidden trauma's and unsolved emotional conflicts, a lot of pressure will be build up, resulting in unwanted, explosive or negative behaviour, weird tendencies, severe mood swings and so forth. This situation tends to worsen until the contents of these hidden layers are 'vented' into the consciousness and set free (usually in a therapeutic environment). The more you tend to 'hide', the more inside pressure is generated.

On the other hand, talking openly about 'negative' items in your life tends to keep the lid of the 'pressure cooker' open as there is much less left to hide away. When the emerging negative issues get aired, 'they feel respected'. The mind stays open, whole and fluent. Talking about your dark sides of your character and your past is a very good measure to stay healthy, enjoy a lot of life's pleasures, be authentic. Best of all, the hidden contents of your sub-consciousness gets continuously integrated into your mind. The ego is enriched with this alternate energy and the archetypes come to full power.

The 'negative items of the past' are the result of bursts of the shadow and attitudes with a shadowlike tendency below the surface. When something 'negative' is happening in a life, sure there is unprocessed but intense psychic material that influences the here-and-now from the subconscious level of the mind. The integration of this material is painful, confrontational and difficult. However, once the ego accepts it as being a part of the whole psyche, the release of the inner tension creates a much more fluent and flexible ego in return in this 'sea' of the total psyche.

Finally, when talking openly about those integrated 'sins', the open communication itself serves a further integrative goal. The more open the ego becomes, the more material from the subconscious level surfaces, with the result that the ego gets a continious 'treatment' and less and less material tends to remain 'shadowlike'.

My soul decided in-between the previous life and this one to make a big 'reservation' or Dharma. It choose a lot of probable sorrow and mishaps marked for me in this actual life. This gave me the chance to learn it from the bottom and finally experience the freedom of being healthy and whole again. I learned that those 'negative' matters are not negative but things that happen in a lot of lives (as my therapy clients show me time and again).

By changing my personal attitude towards this 'negativity', it became clear that the rejecting, opposing, hiding attitude itself was the problem and not the old 'negative' happenings themselves. Really everybody has his 'tale' and can sum up a long list of positive and even more negative events. But by openly telling what you learned during the integration of all those 'negative' items, you will become very real, transparent and interesting to others. By hiding it, you become tensed in duality and become polarised.

The less I hid my 'negative' past, the more fluent I became in expressing my findings, commanding deep rooted respect and enjoy a sparkling life energy… and this is the main thing behind a lot of eastern disciplines in higher states of awareness and even the so called 'enlightenment'. To quote C.G. Jung: "one reaches enlightenment not by imaging all sorts of light and beauty, but by the self-awareness of the inner darkness".

Furthermore, as I talk to so many people about personal 'negative' items, I am simply not able to remember what I told each individual separately. I just stay with only ONE simple truth, stay whole, enjoy contacts with all kinds of people and become transparent. In the past years, I gradually shifted from being shy to expressing my weird findings and their rather 'unorthodox roots' into a much more relaxed attitude. By telling (almost) everything, I gained a fundamental relaxed attitude and learned A LOT from other people who felt immediately at ease and communicated spontaneously with me.

In researching these past life events in my Life Cycles Matrix ® System, I discovered that when a personal choice has to be made at a specific point in time, there are at least two and often three possibilities available for the trained eye. In experiencing these free choices, I finally learned (at the age of 51!) to refrain from strong egoistic thoughts and stay open to communication, no matter what the subject is at hand. The more I listen, serve, teach and help, the better my life goes on. The more openly I talk about the unusual roots, the faster people understand me. They trust me and they heal their inner soul wounds, get healthier or simply learn A LOT on a workshop in a very short time span.

I suggest you not wait till the age of 51 to start practising a renewed life attitude but begin to experiencing it already today. The material on this site will help people understand their own inner structure, hidden trauma and creative capacities. I invite you to use a part of it for your benefit. I am not a guru but I will direct your attention to the best available source of wisdom for you there is for you to find on our beloved Earth: your own inner high self. It talks to you through those ever changing life cycle events in a synchronistic, symbolic but understandable way and it is possible to recognise the look of it.

I wish you all the best on your journey and a continued nice reading.

© Feb. 2000 - Rik Wellens ;-)

Home | Site Map | Site Info (straight) | Site Search Engine | How to surf this site?

kirsnellew- editMB - wstr